The Heart of the Matter

The question is: How great would YOU feel if you removed one unused item from your home each day for a whole year? The declutter challenge.
Toss, Donate, or Sell one item from your home every single day for one year.
No rules.
No advice.


Day 015
Still clearing out Doug’s things: books, books, books.

What did you dump today?

Dasha’s birthday was in April, and friends and family gathered at her parents’ foster-care home after the Orthodox Easter service for a delightful afternoon centered around…what else?…FOOD!

Sasha prepares the grill for shashleek. Oh, the burning wood smelled so good — all fruit tree branches!

Vlad, Vadim and Jamie.

Toma and Sophia (one of the six foster-care children living at the Genesis House.)

Lena and Vova

Jim, Jamie, Dasha, Babushka, Lena

Babushka

Young boxer Anton (brother of Sophia)

Melanie (late arrival, hence the dark sky…)

It doesn’t get much better than that!

The question is: How great would YOU feel if you removed one unused item from your home each day for a whole year? The declutter challenge.
Toss, Donate, or Sell one item from your home every single day for one year.
No rules.
No advice.

Day 014
Okay, so this wasn’t today…but it WAS this week. Doug had a LARGE whirlpool/hot tub in a room upstairs at Mom’s. Jim, Steve and David began a bucket brigade to empty the water out and then dragged the whole contraption downstairs to the garage. Jim and I dragged it to the street for the trash pick-up on Monday morning. Like decluttering a WHOLE ROOM in one fell swoop!

What did you dump today?

Jamie’s bride of almost three years was unavailable to travel to Cincinnati with us for Doug’s funeral. But when we talked before we left Ukraine, she shared some of her heartfelt thoughts. I asked her to please put in writing what she had told me so that I could pass it on to other family members. Which she did. And we all decided that Jamie should read it at the funeral.

Here’s what she sent:

What a great loss… This is such a difficult time for the Matthews.
I didn’t know Uncle Doug that well. But even the few days I was able to spend with him and the rest of the family in Cape Cod left the warmest memories in my heart. All the friendly smiles, hugs, jokes, songs and yummy food and coffee. All that is what Cape Cod and my new family are associated with in my mind. In these past three years that I’ve been Mrs. Peipon junior I got so used to the thought that I have a family in US. It was easy to fall deeply in love with Uncle Doug and the rest of my aunts and uncles and Gramma because I saw them through my husband’s eyes and heart. I heard so many stories from Jamie and felt so much warmth in his voice that all of his feelings became mine, too.
It hurts to think of what had just happened. It hurts to know how your hearts ache for your beloved son, brother, uncle and friend. It hurts to realise there is nothing I can do to help soothe this pain. But there are a few things that bring comfort to my heart. First of all, my Lord, that is always there for those who love Him. His presence and comfort are especially real and physical in moments of despair. And secondly… We will never be able to enjoy Doug’s company again, but… I’m SO grateful I got to meet him. It’s such a shame I didn’t get to meet Grandpa (even though I heard so much about the great man he was). So I am happy I met Uncle Doug in person and was able to experience his great impact on everything, his unique sense of humor and optimism, get to know his extraordinary personality. He will always be in our memories and our hearts. The jolly Santa he was. That’s Uncle Doug that I knew and will always know.

Pretty special, eh?

The question is: How great would YOU feel if you removed one unused item from your home each day for a whole year? The declutter challenge.
Toss, Donate, or Sell one item from your home every single day for one year.
No rules.
No advice.

Day 013

Today we gave away several boxes of candy canes. Each pallbearer had one in his pocket. Family members and close friends also carried them…to honor Doug’s Christmas tradition of handing out candy canes to the children of Glendale.

What did you dump today?

One thing about funerals — it brings the dearest people in your lives all together. Honestly, if someone is willing to attend a funeral — especially if they go out of their way to attend — well, it’s more than wonderful.

Yesterday, Jim, Jeanne, Jamie and I attended Christ Church Glendale — the church where my parents were married, where Jim and I were married, where our girls were baptized, and where the funeral services for my dad and grandparents were held. Having moved from Glendale in 1982, I don’t recognize many of the folks attending anymore, but this special church is one of several that supports our ministry in Ukraine. My family history goes waaaay back in this church, so there was a sense of comfort sitting in this beautiful sanctuary. In the pew next to the stained glass window with the plaque in memory of one of my relatives. It was interesting to note in the church bulletin that they remember families of those who died at this time in the past. And so right after the announcement that my brother had died last week was a reminder that my greatgrandmother had also died in May. A little odd seeing the name Marianna Matthews…I was named after her.

Anyway, back to friends. After the service we returned to Mom’s and a precious family was already there…thank you so much to ALL of the Carters for taking time out from a Mother’s Day celebration to remember our family. And to Aunt Wanda and Uncle Wilbur for making the drive AGAIN way down south to Glendale. And to Rob and Ginger. And Sue and her husband. Your smiles brought joy to our hearts. Today Gary and Karen are flying in from Maryland — can you believe that? We love you! I’m glad to have a touch of Salisbury here.

And ANNA flies in this morning. From Nepal. Only took her 35 hours. She SHOULD be in the air about now…from LA to Detroit? At least I know she’s in LA. And she’s flying into Cincinnati from Detroit. Maybe some other legs along the way.

We’re asking all the pallbearers to choose one of Doug’s ties to wear tomorrow. It is amazing how certain ties bring back specific memories to different friends. Jim is wearing the Christmas tie…figures!

And the priest from Christ Church also came over Sunday afternoon to go over the details of the service. Mom wants us all to follow the casket in to the church — as we have always done at family funerals. I am so thankful that God gives us the grace that we need AT THE TIME that we need it. I get a little teary-eyed at the THOUGHT of the casket. As it is now, we all just keep expecting to see Doug come into the room… A casket will put an end to THAT delusion!!

So, even though we’re all together for an event that we didn’t expect so soon, we still are all together. And feeling pretty good about the plans for the day tomorrow. This evening we’ll be available at Mom’s home to welcome friends who might just want to stop by, or who can’t make it to a morning service tomorrow. Come on over! We’d love to see you, and I promise that there will be laughter. Random tears. But way more laughter.

The question is: How great would YOU feel if you removed one unused item from your home each day for a whole year? The declutter challenge.
Toss, Donate, or Sell one item from your home every single day for one year.
No rules.
No advice.


Day 012

No rules, so the fact that I helped Mom dump a boxful of catalogs and assorted other junkmail pieces is my entry for the day. (It’s simply a good habit to declutter…no matter where we are, right?)

What did you dump today?

The question is: How great would YOU feel if you removed one unused item from your home each day for a whole year? The declutter challenge.
Toss, Donate, or Sell one item from your home every single day for one year.
No rules.
No advice.

Day 011

I threw away a plastic bag that contained a broken glass coffee pot. Not sure whether it was put on the shelf broken, or whether it broke when I was moving things around…

What did you dump today?

Thanks to Karen for taking this picture last summer on Cape Cod.

Who would have known that this would be the last picture taken of Mom and all four of her children?

(And, leave it to Doug to die at a time that would gather the REST of Mom’s kids to be with her on her first Mother’s Day without her son.)

I love you, Mom.

Thanks to ALL for your prayers as our family made our way to Glendale, Ohio. Jim, Jeanne, Jamie and I left Kyiv on Saturday morning…and arrived in Glendale Saturday evening. Seven-hour time difference, though.

Mom, my sister Janet and her husband David arrived in Glendale from the Cape not too long before us. But they had been driving (with Annie…their golden) since early Friday morning with an overnight stop in Rochester, New York.

Anna began her 35-hour trip several hours ago. As she wrote, living halfway around the world (Nepal) has its disadvantages…

Sister Biz and her husband Steve live just north of Cincinnati, and after putting in a l-o-n-g day selling coffee drinks (…more about that enterprise at a later time), joined us at Mom’s sometime after 9, I think.

Dear family friend Aunt Mary greeted the weary and hungry travelers at Mom’s with TWO crockpots of pot roast and vegetables. And rolls…to better soak up the broth. Yum.

Though I think we’re all still in a bit of shock — random tears here and there — I really think we were just all too tired to fully remember why we were all together. Of course, putting clothes out for the undertaker to pick up on Sunday was a grim reminder. And, yet, was comforting in a way: Biz had pulled together hats that Doug wore representing the Eastern Shore where we had lived (M.R. Ducks), a Glendale hat, a Cape Cod hat, and a Steamin’ Joe’s coffee hat. He was also known for wearing coins in his penny loafers — so we switched out one with a Ukrainian coin.

Ukraine time, I think we finally hit the sack around 5:30 a.m. Quickly need to adjust to our NEW time frame!

Today we meet with the Episcopal priest who will be putting the funeral service together. Again, please continue to pray for us all through this week. So much fun to see everyone. And yet there’s an empty place in our hearts. I half expect to see Doug come walking around the corner with some smart-aleck comment…